Warning - Rant in Progress

Today has been one frickin crazy day. And, since I've recently decided to stop using the word "frickin" (there's just something about the word that doesn't mesh with the almost 35 year old mother of six image I'm going for) I'll probably owe each of my children a dollar for it's use here in this rant. At least the ones who can read will call me on it. And with the way this day is going, the ones who can read will probably tell the two who can't read that I said it, and then I'll owe everybody a dollar! Oh well...six bucks is worth it for this kind of day. I digress.

It started out great...two boys safely off to cub scout day camp. Babysitter coming over to watch the other four so I could get some hours in with my cupcakes. Got dressed in what I thought was a cute outfit, and headed off to the store.

I had plans for my three hours...unveiling a new cupcake...see here: www.onalarkcupcakes.com, decorating the store with Fourth of July paraphernalia, delivering one cupcake order, meeting Joe at Old Navy to exchange the Father's day gifts I bought one size too big for him, and finally heading back to the shop to work on some fondant trials for an upcoming wedding. Totally doable in three hours, right? Right.

Anywayyyyy.....got to the store and started working on the fondant cupcakes. I guess that was my first mistake...going off plan and skipping to the part that I thought was going to be fun. Yeah...fondant...not so much fun. Or good. This bride is so worried that my vanilla icing is going to melt in the six pm sun IN the tent ON the beach IN late August. So, she asked me to try and decorate them with fondant. So I did some research, watched some tutorials, bought my supplies and set to work. And, well, I don't know, I think I'd rather have cupcakes with melted DELICIOUS icing, than cupcakes with unmelted DISGUSTING frosting. I swear, you couldn't pay me to take a bite of that cupcake covered in fondant. White fondant at that, with opaque white baking cups to boot. All that white, all that fondant...it wasn't pretty. Kind of looked like a big lump of white something. I should have taken a picture...but I was too embarrassed. It was awful. I have a feeling that this is a wedding I'll not be taking part in...which honestly, is perfectly fine with me at this point.


It's now 15 minutes until my cupcake delivery is due..so I load up the boxes, program the address into my phone and take off. Drive to the appointed address, which I soon learn DOES NOT EXIST. So I call the customer, very nicely, ask if maybe we got the address wrong? does he have any further information. I mean the cupcakes have been paid for, and they're sitting in my car...the frosting might possibly be melting (I've got melting frosting on the brain now). But the customer doesn't know where the cupcakes are supposed to be delivered to. He's ordered them as a surprise for a friend..he doesn't even live here. All he can tell me is that she works at some clothing store in San Luis Obispo. He gives me the address he has again...which still does not exist. So I finally talk him into giving me the girls phone number so that I can call her and find out where she is. Kind of ruins the surprise, yes, but what were the options at this point. There are more than a few stores in this town that sell clothing.....I can't just randomly find the one where this girl works. So I call the girl, who doesn't answer, because really, nobody answers their phone when they don't recognize the incoming number. Except for maybe my husband...who somehow feels obligated to answer the phone either at home or on his cell EVERY time it rings...but that's a rant for another day. So I abandon my delivery at this point...take the cupcakes back to the store to refrigerate...because I'm still so worried about the melting frosting, and head off to Old Navy to help Joe exchange his gifts.

We saunter around Old Navy, and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. From behind. Apparently the cute skirt I had chosen that morning had a slit that I didn't notice....and with EVERY STEP I TOOK, I was revealing my "g's" for the entire world to see.

I mean GEEZ! I'm almost thirty five and I can't figure that out before I leave the house? It was just the last straw in a completely frustrating day. Or so I thought...until I got to the checkout where my GAP card was DECLINED. I quickly mumble some excuse and pull out my VISA, which luckily, was not declined. We head out of the store. I've finally figured out where my cupcakes are to be delivered to, so I head back to the shop to get them out of the cooler and deliver them. I quickly take a peek at the cupcakes out front of the shop and see that the frosting on my new Strawberry Lemonade cupcakes have completely MELTED off the cupcakes! WHAT?!? Today is just not my day for frosting. So I salvage what I can, stick them in the cooler and head off to deliver the cupcakes (which by the way, ended up being on the complete opposite end of town than the address I was originally given). I pull up to the clothing store that's tucked in between self storage units in the industrial section of town...because, you know, that's a great spot to sell clothes from. I go in, ask for the name of the girl whose birthday it is, and hand over the cupcakes. I've checked the frosting...it's holding...this part is going well. But the girl is totally confused. Her birthday was yesterday...why was I delivering them today? Who were they from? When I tell her the name of the "surpriser" I can see that this is not a completely welcome delivery. In fact, I sort of get the feeling that she's pretty creeped out by the idea of this guy buying her cupcakes...especially on the day AFTER her birthday. But at this point, I'm so beyond caring, they've been paid for...I've driven a good 25 miles all across town to get them to her, the frosting hasn't melted, she's taking these frickin cupcakes!

But then, I'm worried about my GAP card. Why was it declined? Did I forget to pay the bill? What's going on? Stuff like that gets under my skin and bugs me until I figure it out. Well, I figured it out...last month the GAP sent me a letter saying that I could earn 50 GAP BUCKS just for using my GAP card two times during the month at gas stations. Sounded like a good idea at the time...I mean I already have to buy gas...why not earn free GAP BUCKS in the process? So I did exactly that, filled up my car TWICE this month, and in the process, maxed out my limit on my GAP Silver card. I'm either spending way too much on gas, or have terrible credit...either way, it's not making my day look much better.

So, nothing has gone to plan, my three hour outing has turned into a very expensive four hour excursion, especially when you factor in the babysitter, (who is awesome and totally worth it, but that's beside the point. It's still hard to fork over cash when your day has been completely worthless.), and the gas I've had to buy AGAIN to deliver cupcakes to someone who didn't really want them.

And now, as I re-read this rant, I think it doesn't sound so bad...maybe I just needed to get it out of my head and into cyberspace. Something about putting it into words always makes things a bit better.

So, now I'm off to make dinner...but at the rate we're going, it's starting to feel like going out might be a better alternative. Too bad I'm out six frickin dollars...woops...make that twelve! Last time, I swear.

By the way...here's a picture of my pretty pretty strawberry lemonade cupcake BEFORE the frosting melted. Nevermind...for some unknown reason, the picture won't upload...I guess that's about right.